Some things nobody forget
by Natsu223
Summary: A mistake in a mission is made and everybody blames Ezra but no one knows how it will end after they discover the truth!
1. chapter 1

Ezra POV

" What did you think this Mission was, Ezra, do you hear me, this mission had brought us for a whole month enough credits that we could eat and didn't have to take part-time jobs only to hold us aboth water! Go, I don't want to see you!" I didn't know what I did wrong I did my job correctly, but then Kanan changed the plan.

 _I was currently setting some detonations, I set the last one of mine and jumped some meters as my comlink sparked. I told the overs that it had some problems but they took it as a joke and said I shouldn't worry about that, it would go away. "Specter 1 is it a good idea to blow the bombs here up, there are some fuel tanks and it would make more damage than we need!"_ _"...let them be...turn them on when I'm saying it...on my commando!" I shook my com a bit and hoped it wouldn't take more damage than it had before. "Really Kanan I'm don't think it is a good idea to blow them up!"_ _"...blow them up..." his voice was steady but in a demanding way. So I didn't complain about this as much as I should and blew them up and as I knew the fuel tanks did make the explosion harder. I was forced into a wall which was damaged before, I felt some pain spark through my body and some blood which made its way through my messy hair_!

After this, I only remember some moments, Sabine which came and said I should come and the angry faces of the ghost crew. I didn't know what I made wrong but I did something wrong!

 **pls give feedback so I can make the story better and make less mistakes in my storys. so sorry if I made too many and don't be shy and correct me!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Ezra Pov

"Don't think about sleeping in my room!" said Zeb angrily

Sabine glared at me and I felt the angry waves come from Kanan. I felt drained and everything around me began to become fuzzy, but I thought _If I faint in here I will become the biggest burden ever_ So I collected all my powers, climbed the ladder up and walked slowly to one of the storage rooms, which were abandoned so I wouldn't become a great burden. As I opened the door my entire surrounding become black I only heard the door closed after this I was in a full blackness.

 ***Time skip***

Hera Pov

I knew the whole mission did fail and everybody told me it was Ezra's fault but after not seeing the kid for three days I thought enough is enough. Everybody on the ghost said that they didn't care and it would be a good thing even Kanan didn't want to know. So I searched through the whole ship, with the help of Chopper, he wasn't as angry as the others. I thought he could be hiding somewhere and he doesn't want to come and speak with us, but I think he must eat something.

After we checked the whole the front of the ghost we went into the abandoned parts of the ghost. I was deeply sunken into my thoughts as I hear Chopper say something to me, he spoke really fast and his words melt together. "Chopper slow down I cant understand a single word!" I said.

He reaped it a bit slower but was still very nervous after he said he found Ezra and he was in a bad chape I ran to the abandoned storage room in which he was.

Ezra was lying on the ground he didn't move and he looked dead to me. I came quickly to my knees and knelt by his side and checked for a pulse. I was relieved after I found one, I lay my hand on his forehand and felt he wasn't warm nor had he a normal human temperature he was very cold and I knew why in her we didn't send heat we let this rooms be. I shook his shoulders but he didn't wake after I removed my hand I felt something warm on them as I looked at them I saw blood, my sight went quickly to Ezra and the blood came indeed from him. I quickly took Ezra and carried him to the med bay, I ripped his clothes away and was shocked as I saw how many things were damaged. I saw some broken ribs and many sliced wounds some of them were deep.

It took me 2 hours to clean them and after this period I realized that he was in a coma and wouldn't come back too fast. I said to Chopper that he should take care of Ezra and if something happened he should contact me immediately.

"Everybody should come immediately to the common room and if someone won't come he or she will be deeply sorry!" I shouted through my com.

They all sat in the common room and no one realized that Ezra was missing.

" So, do you think everybody is here, Zeb?" I asked Zeb with an angry glare.

"I think the kid is missing!"

After they realized this I heard someone say that he needed a punishment. But at this moment I overheard this. "Does anyone knows why he is missing?...No...Nobody!? I will say you why. He was wounded on the last mission and did fall into a coma after I found him in one of the storage rooms which didn't have any heat. His wounds were infected he had several broken bones and who did care no one. I didn't interreact earlier because I thought this problem will solve. But I was so deeply wrong! What are you for crew members which led you a member, your friend let leave without checking his wounds. I overheard a bit and he was the one who was near the detonation. I hope you all be very sorry for this action! And after he will wake up, you better apologize!" And with thus I left the scene.

 **Ok yes, I like the story, give feedback, good and bad I can handle!**

 **If you want to help me with this story, then please text me, I don't find one who want to help**


	3. Chapter 3

**Kanan Pov**

As Hera turned and left the room, my world began to shatter and my ears wanted to see the daylight again. This was also the idea from Sabines only she lost the fight and ran straight to the toilet and Zeb stayed at his spot, frozen.

After I came back to my senses my feet dragged me immediately to the med bay and what I saw horrified me. There was Ezra lying on one of the beds, a blanket around his frame and his face was as white as the sheet. I could see some of the bandages and some paper which was red from the blood. I grabbed a chair and sat next to Ezras comatose state. I couldn't believe in which state he was in and after some minutes my food won the fight and I vomited into a bucket which always stands in the med bay.

I couldn't stand the sight of my padawan and went to my room. I wanted to forget, everything.

 _*Time skip* 5 days later_

 **Kanan Pov**

Although Hera had forgiven us I couldn't forgive myself for this. I did this, it was all my fault. Hera wanted to force me to eat something but everything she wanted me to do gave my belly an attack and I would vomit. I was falling deep into an emotional conflict because I couldn't stand food, couldn't sleep or watch my reflection in the mirror. Every time I did one of these things I saw ezras ghost haunt me. He would blame me for everything, although I knew it didn't happen.

I was on my way to the bathroom although there were mirrors after Zeb told me I smelled it was time to take a shower. I tried my best to avoid the mirror on my way to the shower and this with success. I turned the shower on went into after I strapped my clothes up. My shower wasn't long and I know it.

After I went out of the shower my fear came true. I looked directly into the mirror and heard Ezras voice

" _This was your fault!_

" I didn't want this to happened!"

" _You did let me die_."

"I didn't know."

" _Only because of you I'm in this state!_ "

I yelled at my reflection in the mirror and punched against the mirror. With a loud crack, it broke into many pieces and fall to the ground.

I slide the wall down which I used for support and cried on my knees.

 **Ezra Pov**

I awoke with a loud gasp

"KANAN!"

 **Yes short but I think it will be good!!**

 **Thank you SmolPotatoFry7 that you gave me a so good idea**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ezra Pov**

 _"Kanan"_

I sensed that Kanan was in pain, no fiscal pain it was a mental pain. I tried to stand up but slipped and landed hard on the bed. I tried it again and this without slipping. I ran immediately to Kanan and didn't see Zeb beating Chopper in a game and Sabine washing the dishes. I didn't hear how Hera said that they were about to land and didn't hear how chopper lost and shocked Zeb. My mind was fixed on Kanan who was about to give up. His mind had one thought and this was death. He wanted to die, but why I didn't know, I only knew that I must try to help him.

I stood for the bathroom, but it was closed, that was an obvious cause when somebody is washing no one wants to see him\she naked. I wanted to shout to him that he should open the door, but my voice was quiet and raw so I could only whisper and this didn't change something, in fact, he got more scared than before. I got anxious and wanted to break the door open, but this wouldn't go so well and then I remembered something Kanan did when my door was closed and he had to come into my room, I stood in front of it concentrate on the door and used the force to open it. And what I saw was unbelievable there was Kanan on the floor, around him were many pieces from the mirror, which hang above the sink, in Kanan's hand was one of the pieces and his face was full of dried tears. I ran to him and got him into a hug and whispered as loud as I could that everything would be fine, that he had nothing to fear and that he shouldn't end his life. He asked "Are you real? "

I was slightly confused because of the question but answered "Yes, I'm and I won't leave you soon. You have to bear with me some time longer!" at this he laughed a bit.

"Yes, this would be great!"

After I knew he was ok and wouldn't try to kill himself, my vision became fuzzy and the whole adrenaline which was in my body rushed out and I fainted.

 **Kanan Pov**

I feel how Ezra fainted again, but it was ok. I knew he was ok. I picked him up and brought him back to the med bay. I checked if he had injured himself as he ran out of the room and was relieved as I didn't see anything! I was relieved that he came because of I truly wanted to die. I couldn't forgive myself for this. Even yet I couldn't it was a so big mistake.

As I saw Ezra so eased my own eyelids became heavier, I dropped on Ezras side and began to sleep.

 _(dream)_

 _I was standing on the place from our last mission. Everything around me was black from the explosions and in the middle stood Ezra._

 _I went to him and as I saw him better I was shocked. His skin was full of bruises, some wounds which were bleeding and as I looked into his eyes...This was the most horrible thing on this planet. His normal electric blue eyes were white, with only a hint of blue. As he saw me his emotionless face became an angry one. "You! You did this!" he screamed and pushed me to the edge. "How dare are you to show up and look into my face!" he pushed me again and I couldn't answer him. I wanted to explain that this was a misunderstanding, but my voice was gone. He pushed me as far as he could and shortly before I could fall he said:"You are dead to me!"_

I shoot up from the place I was lying and looked at Ezra he was sleeping peacefully. I gripped his hand to look if he was mad at me or if he wasn't real but I felt the warm waves come from him. _**It could become like it was before, or not?**_ this was a terrible thing to believe, some things nobody will forget!

 _ **It is longer and I hope it is better!**_

 _ **Two perspectives are easier to write then one!**_

 _ **May the force be with you**_


	5. Chapter 5

Kanan Pov

"Chopper get here now!" I heard Zeb yelling, at least they acted a bit normal, but as they come near the med-bay they both stopped to run and to yell. They looked a bit horrified and I felt their stares at Ezra, which Ezra also seemed to fell, cause he twitched in his sleep and this didn't get past Zeb and Chopper. They immediately remembered why they were there in the first place. With a chock from Chopper, their chase was beginning from new.

My gaze went back to Ezra and I looked at his peaceful form and a smile went on my face, but then a frown came.

 _What if he really hates me?_

 _What if he really will leave the group and won't come back?_

I can't let this happened because of my fault, I must apologize to him, but will he let me apologize? I think I will have to try and I saw my chance as Ezra began to wake!

Ezra Pov

Everything around me was howling, but why? I didn't even know why everything was howling and as I opened my eyes I immediately closed them again it was too bright for my eyes.

I felt some arms which helped me to sit up but these hands did touch one of the bruises which were healing. I let out a painful hiss and the hands let go of me I fell back onto the bed.

"Sorry." said a male voice.

I wanted to see who had said this and forced all my power to my eyes that they would at least have a clear picture. After some seconds I saw who it was. I immediately regretted my decision and turned my head so I wouldn't look him into the eyes. After all, he hated me.

Kanan POV

I saw that Ezra opened his eyes and hope formed inside of me but as I saw that he turned so that he wouldn't look at me, something shattered inside of me. Something so big I couldn't think straight.

"I tell the others that you are awake!"

And so I left him.

"Hey, Sabine where are the others?"

"Supply run! What is?"

"Ezra, he's awake!"

Sabine jumped to her feet and ran to the Medbay without any more words.

This brought a smile to my face. I hope he could forgive her. But what I didn't understand was _Why did he help me when he hated me?_

I didn't understand his action.

 _Did he forget what happened_ or _didn't he want to remember?_

Questions over questions without an answer.

I felt so empty the part where the bond used to be was gone and replaced with a hole. the many memories, thoughts, and voices were gone, it felt like Ezra didn't exist anymore. I didn't know if it was on purpose or by accident but I couldn't believe it happened. Or could it end like my dream?

If he would leave the Ghost! But after what happened over the last days for me was it clear. I couldn't take it without help, but with whom should I speak? We were all taken back after what happened and the only one who wasn't didn't understand all this.

Maybe meditation will make it better.

So I sat on my meditation mat and closed my eyes. I sunk into a world full of voices, questions, and answers. I concentrated on my problem and a dozen of emotion crashed on me:

 _ **guilt**_

 _ **sadness**_

 _ **anger**_

 _ **and most of all the need to fix this**_

but whatever I imagined how to control all of this nothing seem to happen. It felt like I drowned in pity and guilt without a way out. Everything confused me and every little question or emotion was too much to take it. I grabbed both sites of my head and wanted to scream, but a soft hand prevented me from screaming. as I looked up I saw my old master Depa Billaba. Although she didn't say anything she filled me with hope, it wasn't big but it was there, a spark of hope which could lead to a fire. She smiled at me and showed me the fragile hope of my Padawan and with every second it seemed to become more cracks

"But how should I help someone who doesn't want help?" I asked

"Maybe he wants it but thinks he doesn't deserve it! Did you think about it? Everyone needs help but some of them think too little about themselves."

* * *

 **How was it, I know the chapter is late, but I had no idea how to write this and as I began with this the chapters were very short.**

 **Please review and tell me what to make better!**

 **May the force be with you**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ezra POV  
** I was forced into a bone-crushing hug from Sabine, "Sabine, I can`t breathe!"  
"Oh sorry, Ezra. I was only so worried and couldn't believe that you're awake," she said with a shaky voice.  
"Why were you worried, I messed everything up. I don't deserve you worrying. I don't deserve anything from you. You should have left me on the next planet." explained I. Why didn't she understand that I didn't want her worrying.  
"Ezra we know that we weren't very nice to you but we are impulsive persons and messed so much up. But for force's sake, we don't want you to leave us, we want you to stay. Besides who will make Kanan relax like you."  
As she mentioned Kanan I felt this huge hole inside of me. Where the bond of Kanan an I was, was a huge emptiness. Were joy, happiness and love were was a glaring hole. The only memories of my family were sad, the only memories of The Ghost crew were frightening, and friends weren't included in these memories. Every bridge to happiness was destroyed.

 **Kanan POV**  
The words of Master Bilaba were ringing inside of my ears although I knew what they meant I didn't know how I should rebuild our broken bond. It was a delicate matter. If a bond shattered without purpose, the trust between padawan and master was destroyed and only an act of trust could rebuild it. But how could I rebuild the trust if Ezra didn't want me near him? I walked back to the med bay and saw Sabine sitting right next to Ezra. Sabine had a faithful look in her eyes and Ezra an empty one. I walked towards them and taped Sabine at her shoulder to sign her that she can go. she realises what I wanted and left Ezra and me to speak. "Ezra?" As he heard my voice he tensed and turned his head again to the opposite. "I can understand that you hate me for what I did. Whether you believe me or not I hate myself for what I did and cant forgive me unless you can!" I looked with pleading eyes at him and realised that he looked at me with unshed tears in his eyes.  
"Kid? What is the matter did I say something wrong?"  
"No, you didn't say any wrong thing" he sniffed.  
He looked me directly into the eyes and began to cry. As he held his hands to his eyes to prevent that the tears wetting his sheets. His little body looked so vulnerable and fragile. So I leaned to him and pushed his body to me. It was an awkward hug but I didn't care, the only thing which I cared for was Ezra, and how we could restore our bond. Ezra was like a son to me. So it was normal that I didn't want to lose him.  
After a little while, Ezras sobs became quieter and his breath evened out. But his hands never loosened on my shirt so I was forced to lye by his site until he let go.

 **Hera POV**  
After we returned from our supply run I went straight to the med bay to look for Ezra and afterwards to speak with Kanan about this problem between these two. But the sight which greeted me was unbelievable. There were Kanan and Ezra lying awkwardly together in the bed of the med bay. Ezra had his hands at Kanans shirt and Kanan had his hands around Ezra. Ezra made himself as little as he could, and Kanan blocked Ezras body nearly from everyone's sight. It looked so sweet and I couldn't prevent myself from taking a picture. After I took it I hung it at one of the walls from the med bay, so they could look at what they would destroy if this friendship would end.

* * *

 _ **I know that it is a long time ago since I uploaded, I hope you didn't mind, but with all the school work I had, it was very hard.  
I would really appreciate if you suggested some ideas for the next chapter.  
May the force be with you.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Kanan POV**

I awoke with an aching back, and with pressure on my belly. I didn't know where or from whom it came, but it was there. so I turned my head slightly so I would look onto my belly and saw a big blue mob. That meant only one thing, Ezra fell asleep on me and I hadn't the heart to wake him up cause I know how bad he needed his sleep. It was a miracle how peaceful he looked if you think about how we looked at each other after the incident.

 _I mean what would have happened if we didn't come to our good terms again and would fight for the eternity of time. No mission would have come to a good end._

But we managed it quite well after all I have hope. I managed to get my hand to Ezra's head so I could stoke it. With this small gesture where I able to send small waves of peace.

 **Ezra POV**

I awoke as I felt the waves of peace and the hand on my head, the person who did it was surprised and stopped his action as I shifted slightly. As I tried to sit up I felt my hand under the body of the person who was currently lying next to me. But with some effort, I got my hand out of this. I felt a bit dizzy as I was fully sitting and closed my eyes immediately, the person next to me-who identitied wasn't clear- held a glass to my mouth and said soft "Come on, Ezra, drink it won't bite!"

as I heard who spoke I was out of my mind it was Kanan who was currently sitting next to me and who offered help.

So I didn't complain and drank it without question. after that I felt quite better and swung my hands around kanbans neck, I felt his surprise and was amused by it but after a small, while he returned the gesture and I think everything will be fine again because I feel hope.

 **This is the end of this story, it isn't long but I think I managed it. Maybe I will write the second part but only if I have an idea.**

 **I hope you had all the fun of reading this story although I made many mistakes with writing.**

 _ **May the force be with you!**_


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